My dorm’s common room often looks like an image straight out of a university advertisement: not only are we a racially diverse bunch, but we represent three continents, five religions, the full spectrum of political beliefs and a range of socioeconomic backgrounds. Besides the usual gossip about the goings on at our school, our conversations may include debates about politics, culture and religion– all of the topics that one is supposed to avoid in polite company. 

But this is not polite company. We often take controversial and often downright offensive positions on thorny topics. It would be easy to dismiss our discussions as the boneheaded joking of teenage boys, but for me, my dorm’s common room is a laboratory, where we all can test out our developing hypotheses about the world. In the safety of trusted friends, I can say anything, and my peers feel free to shoot my ideas down, agree, or help me refine them by pointing out flaws or deficiencies in my arguments. More than any other place, this is the setting that helps me understand others’ views as well as my own.

The more time I spend in or reading about the adult world, the more I realize how anomalous this experience is. In the adult world, people seem to prioritize being inoffensive. When people reach an impasse in a discussion, I often hear people conclude, “let’s agree to disagree,” and the conversation ends before the participants can share more about their perspectives. What a wasted opportunity to learn more about how someone else sees the world. 

Just to be clear, I’m not advocating that we offend one another. Politeness and respect are required in a healthy society. But the “civil” in civil discourse isn’t a reference to good manners. It’s about building a society that can work together, even though we have differences. And in order to do that, we need to develop greater tolerance for and develop the skills to effectively engage in productive disagreement.

To that end, I founded the Civil Discourse Initiative, a program designed to cultivate viewpoint diversity and the open exchange of ideas on my school campus. This past spring, my vision of a campus-wide re-creation of the common room experience led to a political discussion series. Through an hour-long semistructured discussion, students and faculty were invited to both share their perspectives and listen to others’ opinions on key issues in American politics, allowing people to interact with the full spectrum of beliefs represented on campus. In these discussions, I sought to encourage thoughtful disagreement in an environment free from social or academic penalty. My goal isn’t to resolve these issues (nor do I think that would be possible or beneficial), but rather to normalize the discomfort that often comes with ideological difference. We have a lot of skill-building ahead of us, but I feel heartened at my community’s willingness to dive into this thorny process. 

Productive disagreement encourages critical thinking and results in better decision-making. It also builds social trust and tolerance because a broader range of perspectives are aired and considered. 

The stakes couldn’t be higher. Our global community faces major challenges that we have no choice but to face together. Productive disagreement is the only mechanism by which our diverse world can develop solutions together.